I can get better at that...
That one little line had one big impact on me today. While out on my walk this morning I tuned into The Imperfects Podcast with Dr Billy Garvey. I think the universe was telling me to tune into this podcast today and pay attention.
" I can get better at that"
That one little sentence got me thinking about so much in my everyday life. On how much we can use that sentence to guide us through our Life's journey. On how I can guide them better to cope in situations that aren't always going to be pleasant. On how I can get better at "spending time with my kiddies" rather than trying to be the perfect Mum. Or my version of the perfect Mum. On how I can get better at listening to them rather than trying to fix and over dramatise every problem that comes our way. I worry too much about "trying to make sure everything is perfect for them".
You see, I had a little situation that I have kinda been kicking myself over for the last week and wondering how we are going to handle situations that arise in those tween/teen years that are coming our way. Now that I reflect, I could have handled it better.
I like these years, this space, but I do find it a little tricky. Someone once said to me "the bigger they get, the bigger the problems". It was a few years ago now and I kinda brushed it off back then thinking, "yep I'm not in that space right now, so that's ok".
Until now... I'm not very good at not getting emotionally involved when my kids have a problem. It hits me right in the heart and I want to take all of their hurt away. I take it personally. I want to share in their happy times, but I don't want to see them experience shame, disappointment, heartbreak or feelings of betrayal and I will do anything to take that away and heaven forbid anyone that wants to hurt them! That Lioness Mother's instinct of sheltering them definitely kicks in. Instead of listening to them when they are ready to talk, I have a really bad habit of wanting to know the ins and outs on what they are going through and how I can fix it. I get angry when they feel hurt and I want to fix it for them every time. I am a helicopter parent.... Wanting to take away anything that will get in their path to complete happiness. Truth be told, I can't fix it. I could when they were little, but not so much now. And that, that right there, leaves me feeling like I aren't doing very well at this Mum thing.
After listening to the Podcast, it really opened my eyes (and ears) on "how I can get better at this". Get better at so many things, but taking one step at a time. It was a light bulb moment for me. I aren't failing this Mum thing. I am doing the best job I know how to do.
I am so grateful for the opportunity today to take this walk, to breath in the chilly fresh air, to have my husband in my ear telling me "I had to listen to this episode" and finally listening to the guys on the Imperfects Podcast allowing myself to reset, learn and start again. To get better at letting go, listening and guiding rather than trying to "fix" everything in my family.